Feminism, Femininity, and the V word

As one of my fellow bloggy friends pointed out, the word 'feminist' has become a bad word.  When did this happen?  And why? It seems that most people believe a feminist is someone who believes in the superiority of women, seeking to set themselves apart from their counterparts by changing e's and a's to y's and removing men completely from the cycle. 

"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle," as the saying goes.  Sadly, that was backlash to the equality movement, and it was totally understandable. To a certain extent, it still is.  Women still earn less on average than men.  They are also still expected to complete their standard workplace jobs and then go home and complete most of the typical "female" jobs.  Women were told they could do it all, be it all, have it all...  But it seems the men forgot that in order for the women to get anything close to fair, they had to share. 

So, women became strident and demanding.  When the mainstream became ashamed of some of their demands and claims, the detractors added to it.  "You don't want to be a feminist," they sneered.  "Baby killing, man hating, painting with their own menstrual fluids.  They are jealous of men.  They want to BE men."  It was simply another way to slip the vagina back into a neat, little, lace-covered box (pardon the pun). 

When I was in college, I took part in an underground production (at an all-women's college!) of "The Vagina Monologues".  I used a whip and wore my hair in pigtails, playing the part of a dominatrix.  I played the part of a woman comfortable with being a woman and having a very feminine power.  The idea of embracing sexuality and power was a little too risque for the school, so we performed via word of mouth from dorm to dorm to avoid sanctions by the hierarchy. 

It was really the first step in embracing true feminism.  There is nothing wrong with demanding your due.  It is not strident to want equality.  It doesn't mean you want to be superior, it simply means you want to be held as important.   But feminism is more than equality, it is also about femininity.  We are not men.  We will never be men.  We should not fight the way men do. 

In "The Princessa ", Rubin argues that we should embrace the power that women naturally have.  Our ancient ancestors saw the importance that women had in the lives of their families and in the life-giving connection to the earth.  Our industrialized society bound women in steel corsets, and we lost that connection to ourselves.  And now, it's worse. 

When women became afraid of being called feminists, it gave the misogynists a chance to swoop in and decide for them. Men are deciding how women should use their sexuality and their ability to choose.  It's time to stop being afraid of feminism and in effect of femininity.  I am a feminist, with all the strengths and weaknesses that go with being a woman and being human. 

Are you a feminist too?

Oil and Apathy - a rant

In general, I am anything but apathetic. I run into apathy quite a bit while teaching though. It drives me insane to see people who don’t think they can do anything or don’t care enough to change anything. The explosion in the Gulf today is an example of more apathy in action.

We depend on oil so much that we plumb the bowels of the earth to dredge it up, and then we seem to be surprised when things don’t go as easily as planned. Twice this summer, we’ve wreaked havoc on nature and things went badly. And yet, people seem surprised again that something bad has come from humanity’s greedy nature. What did they think was going to happen?

Business as usual to the oil companies seems to mean bitching about having to follow regulations and then demanding help when their efforts NOT to follow regulations lead to something bad… Like an oil spill or a rig explosion. They then turn around and try to blame someone else, anyone else, for their own mistakes or, in the case of BP, try to minimize the damage and pain they have caused.

And people seem to be OK with this. Why? Because actually doing something about it might put them out a smidge. They might have to take action or pay attention to something outside their own wants and desires. Or, even worse, they feel locked in to the situation, so why bother? What happened to the country that rose up against the British Tyrants and established the Democratic Republic? What happened to the people who fought for civil rights and justice? Has cable and fast food really turned our nation into this?

We can't communicate and we're too lazy to care

Writing should be an important topic in schools, but the more I teach, the more I realize it’s not stressed nearly enough. This month, I am teaching a “Fundamentals of English” college course. This course teaches the basics of English to students. I cover parts of speech as well as basic writing skills, and I try to do it in 12 hours a week for four weeks.

Really, it’s not nearly enough time. The students need more time to practice, more time to assimilate the information, and more work to do. In some cases, I deal with students who don’t have a clue what a complete sentence is, let alone how to identify a run-on sentence. There are also students who just don’t grasp why the parts of speech are important, even after I give my puzzle analogy. I tend to work my tail off these four weeks and go home exhausted every night, but I also find it more fulfilling than the higher level classes.

In the higher level writing courses, they have been jaded to the writing process and just don’t want to do it. They have also reached a certain “in school laziness” where they are more willing to slough off the work to the last minute. In the Fundamentals class, they are at least still somewhat excited to the new process of school.

But, in all cases, the writing abilities of some of my students saddens me. How is it that our country is producing graduates who don’t know how to communicate properly? And why have we let it go on thus far? Currently, we are a nation at the top of the heap, but we can’t bring ourselves to educate our children to continue that trend. Instead, we produce citizens who don’t know what their rights are, don’t know how to communicate those rights, and, even worse, are too apathetic to care.

It seems the baby boomer generation, the one that produced the changes in the 60’s and 70’s, did not imbue their children with the same restless spirit. Well, most of them at least (I know my mom did). But they also did not give their children the work ethic that our grandparents had. Our country has lost its inventive spark because it’s too much effort to create, whether it be creation of the lightbulb or creation of a book.

Utopia in our time?

I've been playing Bioshock 2. This game is giving the initial incarnation a run for its money.  It's also making me sweat more than a little.  There have been a couple battles where I was unsure whether or not I would succeed.  But, the more I play it, the more it is driven home that a similar situation could occur in any society. Wile I was playing this, Big Guy and I were talking about the meaning of a dystopia. 

A dystopia is a utopia that, for some reason, has gone horribly, tragically wrong.  As Big Guy pointed out, the Empire in Star Wars is an example of this.  All utopias start with the best of intentions, a desire to make the world a better place, an altruistic goal. But there is always a fly in the ointment. 

I blame those things on human nature. As Hobbes said, life is nasty, brutish and short and we, as humans, make it that way.  We are all flawed and those flaws will prevent us from achieving a utopic ideal.  We will always screw it up.  For example, a communist society where everyone helps seems a great goal.  In practice, however, human greed and our desire for power will prevent us from ever achieving such lofty goals.  This is where Russia failed.  The only reason Cuba is anything close to successful as a communist society is due to the tyrannical dictatorship. 

However, despite these flaws, we try to teach our children these ideals.  "Share with each other," we say.  "Take turns."  Are we setting them up for failure and disappointment?  I'd like to think not.  By teaching our children these ideals, we are demonstrating the better, brighter side of human nature.  That is our ability to cling to hope when it seems there should be none. 

Will we ever achieve the ability to gain a utopia or will we forever be doomed to their corruption?  I think that we have the ability to rise above our nature.  If we didn't we would not have reached our current level of civilization.  But I also don't believe it will happen any time soon.

End of Class Obama Love

Today is the last day of this month's class.  I'm always ambivalent about the end of class, always second guessing myself.  Did I get through to them?  What did I do well? What could I improve?  What worked?  What needs to be adjusted?  Generally, I'm pretty happy with what I've decided to do. 

Some months I feel really on top of the ball, like I've not only conquered the world but tied it all up with a neat, little bow.  Other months, I'm glad to see the end of it and if I never have a month like it again, it will be too soon.  Then, there are the months that are just blah.  They aren't spectacular, but they aren't horrible either.  They drag on and close with both myself and the students wiping their brows and sighing in relief. I think this month was close to the last category, not spectacular, not horrible and done. 

We watched the State of the Union last night, and, as befits an Obama Fangirl like myself, the man made me give happy, girly sighs when he smilingly threatened the Repubs and promised to end Don't Ask, Don't Tell.  Big Guy grumped through it because he hates politics.  What else can I expect from a British national though; it's inherent in his blood to hate American politics since we ruined perfectly good tea.  In all seriousness, the man said thought he was done with politics once the election was over. There's a part of me that looks at him and says: "Really?  And you've been married to me for six years?  REALLY?"  Little Guy saw Obama, said his name, and then went and played with his cars.  Apparently just seeing the President was enough politics for his night. 

However, my ADD kicked into gear once the speech started and I got my grading done but completely spaced on the laundry that I needed to get done.  Big Guy's job gave him some money to supplement his wardrobe with nicer clothes.  As irritated as I am with the way they have treated my husband, at least they gave him money to get some better clothes.  I threw the new clothes in the washing machine after the speech and tossed them in the dryer before bed in the hopes that they would smell home-like and be soft and comfortable for Big Guy's day at work.  I am not sure the man realizes how much I love him. 

 Speaking of love, I also got his gifts for Valentine's Day and his birthday next month, though I recognize and accept that they won't hold a candle to my birthday gift from him, The Bioshock 2 Special Edition set.  Even typing those words makes me woozy with anticipation.  I suspect we'll be going to get it as soon as possible (I'm pulling for waiting in line at Midnight to get m copy).  It almost makes turning 31 worth it. 

Seriously, if you don't own Bioshock, GET IT.  I cannot recommend this video game highly enough, particularly for people who enjoy books like: 1984 or Brave New World.  Go, buy it, and know the love that is Rapture. 

Life and Lions

I know I’ve been gone for a while but life and work have taken up most of my attention.  Our garden, despite late breaking efforts, has not fared so well this summer.  Big Guy and I both think that our difficulties this summer had something to do with it.  I am able to harvest some very delicious tomatoes which are FINALLY turning red.  The coolness of the weather this year affected their color and I still have more green tomatoes than red ones.

We’re coming to the end of the August class.  Starting next week, I have another class of students and the cycle starts all over again. I’ve decided to go in a different direction in some cases, especially since I have access to a nice computer and a projector.

However, in the meantime, I need to finish up my OMGSUPERSECRET project because I lost a week I thought I had to work on it.  And that is what I am doing today.  I am over 2/3rds done, I just need to get that final push done and finish it this week.  Once that’s done, I can breathe a little easier and actually have some free time.  Go me!

Right now, Little Guy and I are watching MSNBC’s coverage of the death of Senator Kennedy.  It truly is a sad day.  I can only hope the health care bill doesn’t fail because of this.  That would truly be horrible.  Something that man worked so hard for, he got so close to seeing the frution of his life’s work…  And then he dies.  It’s truly a tragic story, and perhaps another chapter of the Kennedy Curse.  I’ll post more thoughts on this later, particularly my reactions to the disgusting comments the Rabid Right have posted across the internet.

On the humerous side of this story.  Senator Kennedy was known as the “Lion of the Senate.”  Every time that moniker is placed on the screen, Little Guy exclaims: “Oh!  A Lion!”  He recognizes the word.  My sweet boy, so smart and turning in to such a good reader!