Spiritual Sunday - Sacrifice

 Last Week

Sacrifice is a difficult subject to discuss because it is such a difficult thing to do.  However, this is the season of sacrifice.  There are many religions that focus on the idea of fasting and sacrifice as we move through winter and into the spring season.  Christianity has Lent which leads, of course, to Easter (or Ostara), Muslims have Eid-Al-Adha, even Ancient Rome explained the cycle of the seasons using a mother's sacrifice of her daughter and the daughter's return at the beginning of Spring. 

The idea of sacrifice, purposeful sacrifice, is something we all dislike.  We give up so much in the day to day struggle of life, why should we be forced to give up more?  We give up time with our family, comfort, and sleep for work.  We give up money, time, and happiness for our family.  But the idea of sacrifice is supposed to remind us of the good things we have, the happiness we find in our lives. 

We do sacrifice on a daily basis, and we do it to have some of the good things that we enjoy.  I have sacrificed a certain amount of financial freedom to be home during the day with Little Guy.  If I worked during the normal office hours, we might have more money, but I believe that Little Guy would suffer for it.  By that measure, Little Guy himself requires many sacrifices.  We stopped being nearly as independent once we had a child and our free time is now spent with our little monkey.  Again, we judged the sacrifices we make as parents to be worth it.

It's difficult, sometimes, to look at the sacrifices we make and find something worthwhile in them.  I struggle with that too.  I look at the difficulties we have and the struggles we endure and sometimes I have to fight off the negativity by reminding myself of the good things we have.  I also make it a point to remember the fact that we are better off than many others.  Big Guy and I have jobs; Little Guy is happy, healthy, and amazingly smart; we have a roof over our heads and a car that runs; and, even more importantly, we have each other and appreciate that fact. 

It's important to examine the sacrifices you make and the good that comes from them.  Remember that our sacrifices give us one thing even more important than anything else.  Our sacrifices give us hope.  It gives us hope for a better life, a more comfortable home, a happier family, and a better attitude.  It is the spring to the wintry darkness in the rest of our lives. 

Spiritual Sunday - Virtues and Vices

 Last Week

Virtues and vices go with the duality of the spirit.  I remember having to memorize both the Seven Deadly Sins and the Seven Godly Virtues in my days as a Catholic Schoolgirl (tm).  Almost everyone knows the seven deadly sins thanks to Brad Pitt and Kevin Spacey.  The virtues are always a bit harder.  But, when you look at them, it's just common sense.  Most religions simply tell us what we already know, but need to hear nevertheless. 


The Operative: What is your sin?
Mal: Aw hell, I'm a fan of all seven.  But for now, I'm going to have to go with wrath.
- Serenity

Lust, Wrath, Greed, Gluttony, Pride, Envy and Sloth.  The Seven Deadly Sins.  That's a scary name for these items. The names themselves sound horrible, using the words that have the most negative connotations attached to them.  Wrath instead of anger, lust instead of desire, and sloth instead of laziness. It is designed, in part, to make us feel better about ourselves, because we are all guilty of following those sins.  I have reveled in feelings of anger and let them overcome common sense at times.  And we've all experienced lust, though not necessarily in a sexual way.  Have you wanted a higher position in your job and been willing to step on someones fingers to climb that ladder?  Have you wanted something so bad you could taste it and been willing to do anything to get it?  Well then, hello lust. 

The virtues, on the other hand, are more difficult to remember.  Humility, Mercy, Chastity, Patience, Love, Temperance and Fortitude.  They are a reminder that too much of a good thing becomes bad.  It's fine to take pride in your work, but you have to be humble enough to accept that there are things you can't do.  It's fine to want more, but that wanting needs to be balanced out with an acceptance that there are certain things you can't have or are not good for you.  People have a more difficult time remembering them because we are hardwired to pay attention to the things that are bad for us.  It's the adrenaline rush that goes with being bad. 

We like to think of ourselves as creatures that are normally morally good.  But we do need to embrace and accept the not so good side as well.  That dark side has enabled us to survive as a species.  I'm not suggesting that you give in to every whim that crosses your mind, nor am I saying that it's OK to screw over your fellow man to get ahead.  I am saying use common sense.  For the most part, we know right from wrong because our society has instilled it in us.  Follow your heart, and if you have to stop and ask yourself if you've gone too far, chances are you probably have.

Next Week

Spiritual Sunday - The World Works as it wills

 Last Week

It took many years and many trials and tribulations before I learned to accept that everything truly does happen for a reason.  There have been many times that I have dealt with what I was certain were horrible situations only to discover that there had been a plan after all. The world works as the world wills and everything will work out for the best from the end of relationships to the loss of some dreams.

People can look sideways at this and shake their heads, but the fact remains.  You need to have faith and let go.  Have faith that the situation you find untenable, the loss of a job or the end of a relationship, is for the best.  Wipe down your face and stop fighting the inevitable.  Crying won't fix the job; yelling won't fix the relationship. Accept that in those situations, you are powerless.  And accept that there is a plan, you just can't see it yet. 

When the door closes, the window opens.  If the relationship ends, it wasn't meant to be.  There will be other relationships, and one of them WILL last.  If the job is lost, it simply means that a better job, a better fit and one that will make you happier, is out there.  And everyone, good or bad, has given you something to make you a better person, but it's up to you to find out what it is.  But that first step is acceptance.  Accept that it's OK that things did not work out the way you wanted, and really mean it. 

Most of us spend a good portion of our lives railing against the inevitable instead of accepting the plan we cannot see.  We can't accept it for a number of reasons: it doesn't fit with our plan, we were content with the situation as it stood, or even we are too set with that path that change is nearly impossible.  But, by relinquishing control to the flow of the planet, we will find our path. 

That is not to say that the right things don't require work.  I recognize that had any of my relationships followed a different path, I would likely not have ended up with Big Guy.  However, all relationships require work, even good ones.  Big Guy and I make it a point to maintain our marriage daily.  We talk to each other, help each other, and reinforce our feelings for each other every day.  A job that you enjoy needs the same care and work as a good relationship.  I spend a great deal of time thinking about what lessons need to be tweaked and what I can do to improve my class, another opportunity I would have missed had I railed against the unexpected course my life took.

Next Week

Spiritual Sunday - The Duality of Life

 Last Week 

The idea of duality in religion is nothing new. The first chapter of Genesis deals with duality; light and dark, heaven and earth, wet and dry, male and female.  There are other instances of duality, generally serving the same purpose, in other religions.  The Taoist symbol of the yin yang represents many forms of duality, including male and female.  Pagan religions also embrace duality and the importance of balance.

In Neo-pagan religious ceremonies, it is important to note that both aspects must be honored properly. They are generally viewed as highly female oriented, but perhaps it only appears that way due tot he absence of a strong female figure in other, more organized religions.  What is important to understand is the necessity of both sides to life.  Without night, there would be no day; without female, there would be no male; and without the salt of life, we would not experience the sweetness. 

If there is one thing we must learn, it is the importance of duality.  If we did not have both sides of the coin, good and bad, our world would fall.  We need the balance of the seasons, summer and winter, to ensure the success of the crops as well as the continued existence of life on the planet.  We need the night to help us sleep and prepare for the day.  And, well, we all know why there must be two genders. 

Instead of complaining about Winter, remember the good that comes from winter.  Instead of complaining about your significant other and how different they are from you, remember that those differences balance you and serve as a counter to your weaknesses.  Remember that for every painful experience, you have likely experienced an experience that was just as sweet.  Accept and understand the automatic balance that life provides. 

Next Week

Spiritual Sunday - Learn to be Still

I've decided to reinstate my spirituality blog entries and start a Spiritual Sunday Meme.

Ask anyone who knows me, and you will find I tend to avoid organized religion.  The organizational structure of many religions seems to invite corruption and those who wish to manipulate and twist the religious beliefs.  I prefer to believe that if there is a higher power, it doesn't matter what we call it, only how we act.  After all, how can we, as humans, presume to know the mind of a god? 

So, it seems logical that the best way to muddle through this deeply flawed, human life is to find a way to express your spiritual self.  The best way to figure this out requires stillness.  I know in the business of today's world, with cell phones ringing, email to be answered, and small children clamoring with loud voices and sticky fingers for your attention, it's extremely difficult to find a chance to be still, but it is important for all three aspects of health: mental, physical, and spiritual.

Some might refer to the process of learning stillness as meditation or achieving balance; no matter what you call it though, it requires quiet and peace.  Choose a place that you draw comfort from and sit.  Turn you cell phone off and choose a time when the children are asleep or distracted for an extended period of time.  Achieving stillness requires patience, dedication and quiet.  Otherwise, it wouldn't be still.  Breathe in and breathe out and release your stress and anxieties.  Open your heart and let your spirit float freely. 

Finding that inner peace and connection to the unseen world (the spiritus mundi as Yeats would say) is a key to finding your spiritual center.  My spiritual stillness comes mostly in nature.  Whether it is the stillness and quiet of the snow falling, muffling all sounds of the urban life, or the wind rustling the leaves with the light, cheery chirrups from the birds.  Wherever you find your stillness, keep the memory of it for the hectic busy times.  Pull the memory out when you find yourself faltering and it will serve you well.