Just when you think things are going smoothly, something comes along to trip you up. The process of moving and squaring things away is a lesson in changing what you can and accepting what you can't because just when you think things are settled, it turns out not to be. This weekend I discovered my bank sent my rent, not to my landlord, but to nowhere. They cut a paper check instead of paying his account and sent it to nowhere, literally. There was no address. They sent the check anyhow. This is the problem with automated systems. A person might have noticed there was no address and stopped the process to figure out what was going on. The mechanical system, however, just shoots things out.
I discovered this on Saturday morning after my landlord contacted me to let me know he hadn't received our money yet. The bank put a stop-payment on the check they cut and said the money would be back in my account in 3 - 5 business days. In the meantime, I am sending a personal check to cover this to my landlord so that, once the money is back in my account, he can go ahead and cash it. The next step from there will be to figure out how to do this so it NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN.
Also on Saturday, we discovered the tree in our backyard was trying to make an entrance into the neighbor's yard. It's a lovely mulberry tree that just sort of leaned over the fence. Big Guy would take care of it himself, but there's some sort of line there that the tree is also leaning on, so I think someone professional needs to take care of it to prevent death and/or loss of limb (HA) and property. However, it's a holiday weekend, and, as with the bank, that means NO ONE is working until Tuesday without serious overtime.
For most people, this is a relaxing time. For me, it turned into a frenzy of 'crap I cannot control'. I don't like sharp changes in plans; I especially don't like sharp changes in plans of things I had already marked off my list. My reaction to that loss of control and inability to change it RIGHT NOW was to take control elsewhere. As such, Big Guy and I emptied the dining room of boxes and then refilled it with boxes from the family room. We then sorted the place out and got the furniture arranged (mostly) to our satisfaction. I need a wireless adapted for my computer before it can go on my desk but then we are settled in the family room. We have a mishmash of hand-me-down furniture from friends, family and second-hand stores which, surprisingly, almost looks like we planned it and matches the woodwork here beautifully. I have no idea how we managed both the coordinating furniture and the coordinating woodwork, but go us.
In the end, this means Tuesday will be a busy day. I'm OK with that as long as everything gets sorted out. I want everything back to settled, so I can get down to the very serious business of settling in and sorting things out. We need to get settled in so I can get Little Guy into a routine and start homeschooling the little booger. He desperately needs a routine and regular schedule. This past month has been sorely lacking in that department, and I am starting to feel like a horrible parent. But again, I need to look at this as an opportunity to change what I can and accept what I can't.
It's just difficult.
Showing posts with label spirituality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spirituality. Show all posts
Monday, September 5, 2011
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Spiritual Sunday - Sacrifice
Last Week
Sacrifice is a difficult subject to discuss because it is such a difficult thing to do. However, this is the season of sacrifice. There are many religions that focus on the idea of fasting and sacrifice as we move through winter and into the spring season. Christianity has Lent which leads, of course, to Easter (or Ostara), Muslims have Eid-Al-Adha, even Ancient Rome explained the cycle of the seasons using a mother's sacrifice of her daughter and the daughter's return at the beginning of Spring.
The idea of sacrifice, purposeful sacrifice, is something we all dislike. We give up so much in the day to day struggle of life, why should we be forced to give up more? We give up time with our family, comfort, and sleep for work. We give up money, time, and happiness for our family. But the idea of sacrifice is supposed to remind us of the good things we have, the happiness we find in our lives.
We do sacrifice on a daily basis, and we do it to have some of the good things that we enjoy. I have sacrificed a certain amount of financial freedom to be home during the day with Little Guy. If I worked during the normal office hours, we might have more money, but I believe that Little Guy would suffer for it. By that measure, Little Guy himself requires many sacrifices. We stopped being nearly as independent once we had a child and our free time is now spent with our little monkey. Again, we judged the sacrifices we make as parents to be worth it.
It's difficult, sometimes, to look at the sacrifices we make and find something worthwhile in them. I struggle with that too. I look at the difficulties we have and the struggles we endure and sometimes I have to fight off the negativity by reminding myself of the good things we have. I also make it a point to remember the fact that we are better off than many others. Big Guy and I have jobs; Little Guy is happy, healthy, and amazingly smart; we have a roof over our heads and a car that runs; and, even more importantly, we have each other and appreciate that fact.
It's important to examine the sacrifices you make and the good that comes from them. Remember that our sacrifices give us one thing even more important than anything else. Our sacrifices give us hope. It gives us hope for a better life, a more comfortable home, a happier family, and a better attitude. It is the spring to the wintry darkness in the rest of our lives.
Sacrifice is a difficult subject to discuss because it is such a difficult thing to do. However, this is the season of sacrifice. There are many religions that focus on the idea of fasting and sacrifice as we move through winter and into the spring season. Christianity has Lent which leads, of course, to Easter (or Ostara), Muslims have Eid-Al-Adha, even Ancient Rome explained the cycle of the seasons using a mother's sacrifice of her daughter and the daughter's return at the beginning of Spring.
The idea of sacrifice, purposeful sacrifice, is something we all dislike. We give up so much in the day to day struggle of life, why should we be forced to give up more? We give up time with our family, comfort, and sleep for work. We give up money, time, and happiness for our family. But the idea of sacrifice is supposed to remind us of the good things we have, the happiness we find in our lives.
We do sacrifice on a daily basis, and we do it to have some of the good things that we enjoy. I have sacrificed a certain amount of financial freedom to be home during the day with Little Guy. If I worked during the normal office hours, we might have more money, but I believe that Little Guy would suffer for it. By that measure, Little Guy himself requires many sacrifices. We stopped being nearly as independent once we had a child and our free time is now spent with our little monkey. Again, we judged the sacrifices we make as parents to be worth it.
It's difficult, sometimes, to look at the sacrifices we make and find something worthwhile in them. I struggle with that too. I look at the difficulties we have and the struggles we endure and sometimes I have to fight off the negativity by reminding myself of the good things we have. I also make it a point to remember the fact that we are better off than many others. Big Guy and I have jobs; Little Guy is happy, healthy, and amazingly smart; we have a roof over our heads and a car that runs; and, even more importantly, we have each other and appreciate that fact.
It's important to examine the sacrifices you make and the good that comes from them. Remember that our sacrifices give us one thing even more important than anything else. Our sacrifices give us hope. It gives us hope for a better life, a more comfortable home, a happier family, and a better attitude. It is the spring to the wintry darkness in the rest of our lives.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Spiritual Sunday - Virtues and Vices
Last Week
Virtues and vices go with the duality of the spirit. I remember having to memorize both the Seven Deadly Sins and the Seven Godly Virtues in my days as a Catholic Schoolgirl (tm). Almost everyone knows the seven deadly sins thanks to Brad Pitt and Kevin Spacey
. The virtues are always a bit harder. But, when you look at them, it's just common sense. Most religions simply tell us what we already know, but need to hear nevertheless.
The Operative: What is your sin?
Mal: Aw hell, I'm a fan of all seven. But for now, I'm going to have to go with wrath.
- Serenity
Lust, Wrath, Greed, Gluttony, Pride, Envy and Sloth. The Seven Deadly Sins. That's a scary name for these items. The names themselves sound horrible, using the words that have the most negative connotations attached to them. Wrath instead of anger, lust instead of desire, and sloth instead of laziness. It is designed, in part, to make us feel better about ourselves, because we are all guilty of following those sins. I have reveled in feelings of anger and let them overcome common sense at times. And we've all experienced lust, though not necessarily in a sexual way. Have you wanted a higher position in your job and been willing to step on someones fingers to climb that ladder? Have you wanted something so bad you could taste it and been willing to do anything to get it? Well then, hello lust.
The virtues, on the other hand, are more difficult to remember. Humility, Mercy, Chastity, Patience, Love, Temperance and Fortitude. They are a reminder that too much of a good thing becomes bad. It's fine to take pride in your work, but you have to be humble enough to accept that there are things you can't do. It's fine to want more, but that wanting needs to be balanced out with an acceptance that there are certain things you can't have or are not good for you. People have a more difficult time remembering them because we are hardwired to pay attention to the things that are bad for us. It's the adrenaline rush that goes with being bad.
We like to think of ourselves as creatures that are normally morally good. But we do need to embrace and accept the not so good side as well. That dark side has enabled us to survive as a species. I'm not suggesting that you give in to every whim that crosses your mind, nor am I saying that it's OK to screw over your fellow man to get ahead. I am saying use common sense. For the most part, we know right from wrong because our society has instilled it in us. Follow your heart, and if you have to stop and ask yourself if you've gone too far, chances are you probably have.
Next Week
Virtues and vices go with the duality of the spirit. I remember having to memorize both the Seven Deadly Sins and the Seven Godly Virtues in my days as a Catholic Schoolgirl (tm). Almost everyone knows the seven deadly sins thanks to Brad Pitt and Kevin Spacey
. The virtues are always a bit harder. But, when you look at them, it's just common sense. Most religions simply tell us what we already know, but need to hear nevertheless. The Operative: What is your sin?
Mal: Aw hell, I'm a fan of all seven. But for now, I'm going to have to go with wrath.
- Serenity
Lust, Wrath, Greed, Gluttony, Pride, Envy and Sloth. The Seven Deadly Sins. That's a scary name for these items. The names themselves sound horrible, using the words that have the most negative connotations attached to them. Wrath instead of anger, lust instead of desire, and sloth instead of laziness. It is designed, in part, to make us feel better about ourselves, because we are all guilty of following those sins. I have reveled in feelings of anger and let them overcome common sense at times. And we've all experienced lust, though not necessarily in a sexual way. Have you wanted a higher position in your job and been willing to step on someones fingers to climb that ladder? Have you wanted something so bad you could taste it and been willing to do anything to get it? Well then, hello lust.
The virtues, on the other hand, are more difficult to remember. Humility, Mercy, Chastity, Patience, Love, Temperance and Fortitude. They are a reminder that too much of a good thing becomes bad. It's fine to take pride in your work, but you have to be humble enough to accept that there are things you can't do. It's fine to want more, but that wanting needs to be balanced out with an acceptance that there are certain things you can't have or are not good for you. People have a more difficult time remembering them because we are hardwired to pay attention to the things that are bad for us. It's the adrenaline rush that goes with being bad.
We like to think of ourselves as creatures that are normally morally good. But we do need to embrace and accept the not so good side as well. That dark side has enabled us to survive as a species. I'm not suggesting that you give in to every whim that crosses your mind, nor am I saying that it's OK to screw over your fellow man to get ahead. I am saying use common sense. For the most part, we know right from wrong because our society has instilled it in us. Follow your heart, and if you have to stop and ask yourself if you've gone too far, chances are you probably have.
Next Week
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Spiritual Sunday - The Duality of Life
Last Week
The idea of duality in religion is nothing new. The first chapter of Genesis deals with duality; light and dark, heaven and earth, wet and dry, male and female. There are other instances of duality, generally serving the same purpose, in other religions. The Taoist symbol of the yin yang represents many forms of duality, including male and female. Pagan religions also embrace duality and the importance of balance.
In Neo-pagan religious ceremonies, it is important to note that both aspects must be honored properly. They are generally viewed as highly female oriented, but perhaps it only appears that way due tot he absence of a strong female figure in other, more organized religions. What is important to understand is the necessity of both sides to life. Without night, there would be no day; without female, there would be no male; and without the salt of life, we would not experience the sweetness.
If there is one thing we must learn, it is the importance of duality. If we did not have both sides of the coin, good and bad, our world would fall. We need the balance of the seasons, summer and winter, to ensure the success of the crops as well as the continued existence of life on the planet. We need the night to help us sleep and prepare for the day. And, well, we all know why there must be two genders.
Instead of complaining about Winter, remember the good that comes from winter. Instead of complaining about your significant other and how different they are from you, remember that those differences balance you and serve as a counter to your weaknesses. Remember that for every painful experience, you have likely experienced an experience that was just as sweet. Accept and understand the automatic balance that life provides.
Next Week
The idea of duality in religion is nothing new. The first chapter of Genesis deals with duality; light and dark, heaven and earth, wet and dry, male and female. There are other instances of duality, generally serving the same purpose, in other religions. The Taoist symbol of the yin yang represents many forms of duality, including male and female. Pagan religions also embrace duality and the importance of balance.
In Neo-pagan religious ceremonies, it is important to note that both aspects must be honored properly. They are generally viewed as highly female oriented, but perhaps it only appears that way due tot he absence of a strong female figure in other, more organized religions. What is important to understand is the necessity of both sides to life. Without night, there would be no day; without female, there would be no male; and without the salt of life, we would not experience the sweetness.
If there is one thing we must learn, it is the importance of duality. If we did not have both sides of the coin, good and bad, our world would fall. We need the balance of the seasons, summer and winter, to ensure the success of the crops as well as the continued existence of life on the planet. We need the night to help us sleep and prepare for the day. And, well, we all know why there must be two genders.
Instead of complaining about Winter, remember the good that comes from winter. Instead of complaining about your significant other and how different they are from you, remember that those differences balance you and serve as a counter to your weaknesses. Remember that for every painful experience, you have likely experienced an experience that was just as sweet. Accept and understand the automatic balance that life provides.
Next Week
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Spiritual Sunday - Learn to be Still
I've decided to reinstate my spirituality blog entries and start a Spiritual Sunday Meme.
Ask anyone who knows me, and you will find I tend to avoid organized religion. The organizational structure of many religions seems to invite corruption and those who wish to manipulate and twist the religious beliefs. I prefer to believe that if there is a higher power, it doesn't matter what we call it, only how we act. After all, how can we, as humans, presume to know the mind of a god?
So, it seems logical that the best way to muddle through this deeply flawed, human life is to find a way to express your spiritual self. The best way to figure this out requires stillness. I know in the business of today's world, with cell phones ringing, email to be answered, and small children clamoring with loud voices and sticky fingers for your attention, it's extremely difficult to find a chance to be still, but it is important for all three aspects of health: mental, physical, and spiritual.
Some might refer to the process of learning stillness as meditation or achieving balance; no matter what you call it though, it requires quiet and peace. Choose a place that you draw comfort from and sit. Turn you cell phone off and choose a time when the children are asleep or distracted for an extended period of time. Achieving stillness requires patience, dedication and quiet. Otherwise, it wouldn't be still. Breathe in and breathe out and release your stress and anxieties. Open your heart and let your spirit float freely.
Finding that inner peace and connection to the unseen world (the spiritus mundi as Yeats would say) is a key to finding your spiritual center. My spiritual stillness comes mostly in nature. Whether it is the stillness and quiet of the snow falling, muffling all sounds of the urban life, or the wind rustling the leaves with the light, cheery chirrups from the birds. Wherever you find your stillness, keep the memory of it for the hectic busy times. Pull the memory out when you find yourself faltering and it will serve you well.
Ask anyone who knows me, and you will find I tend to avoid organized religion. The organizational structure of many religions seems to invite corruption and those who wish to manipulate and twist the religious beliefs. I prefer to believe that if there is a higher power, it doesn't matter what we call it, only how we act. After all, how can we, as humans, presume to know the mind of a god?
So, it seems logical that the best way to muddle through this deeply flawed, human life is to find a way to express your spiritual self. The best way to figure this out requires stillness. I know in the business of today's world, with cell phones ringing, email to be answered, and small children clamoring with loud voices and sticky fingers for your attention, it's extremely difficult to find a chance to be still, but it is important for all three aspects of health: mental, physical, and spiritual.
Some might refer to the process of learning stillness as meditation or achieving balance; no matter what you call it though, it requires quiet and peace. Choose a place that you draw comfort from and sit. Turn you cell phone off and choose a time when the children are asleep or distracted for an extended period of time. Achieving stillness requires patience, dedication and quiet. Otherwise, it wouldn't be still. Breathe in and breathe out and release your stress and anxieties. Open your heart and let your spirit float freely.
Finding that inner peace and connection to the unseen world (the spiritus mundi as Yeats would say) is a key to finding your spiritual center. My spiritual stillness comes mostly in nature. Whether it is the stillness and quiet of the snow falling, muffling all sounds of the urban life, or the wind rustling the leaves with the light, cheery chirrups from the birds. Wherever you find your stillness, keep the memory of it for the hectic busy times. Pull the memory out when you find yourself faltering and it will serve you well.
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