The First Step of Our Homeschool Journey

We've started homeschooling our Little Guy, and I am discovering that it takes a serious change in view to school such a creative and bright child.  Most people who meet Little Guy are shocked by two things. The first thing they notice is that he's small for his age.  The kid is a victim of  maternal genetics.  The second thing they notice, after talking to him for a bit, is how quickly he picks up on things and how much knowledge he's already stored away in that head of his. 

The story of my life - Left behind, while he forges ahead

 

 

 

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The first step, I discovered, is letting go of my own notions of how his education should proceed.  Big Guy and I struggled with getting him to practice writing his letters.  Little Guy sat there with his pencil and paper and very passive aggressively refused to trace his alphabet.  He doodled, he sang, he made up stories starring his pencil and paper, but he WOULD NOT write his letters.  In response, we cajoled, we pleaded, we threatened, we yelled...  And then, we let it go.  I sighed, shrugged, and told him he could watch a TV show if he wrote five words down.  Any five words. 

And he did. 

It took less than two minutes.  Two hours of fighting over writing and in less than two minutes he wrote five words.  Big Guy and I looked at each other, shrugged, and let it go. Later on as we discussed the difficulties, we came tot he conclusion that we were approaching this the wrong way.  We had to keep in mind WHY we were homeschooling him.  We recognized that he would not handle the stereotypical school schedule well.  He'd rebel and then get in trouble.  We also didn't want him to HATE education, so we knew we'd have to do things differently than they would in a classroom. 

That's where we screwed up.  We approached the writing the way they do in school because that's the way we were taught.  We knew that wasn't going to work with him, and we tried it anyhow.  It worked exactly as we expected; he fought us.  So, we are re-evaluating.  Since he's still a young 'un, we're going to focus more on exposing him to things he'll learn about.  He CAN write, we just have to get him to do it.  Big Guy got him to write me a note while I was at work and left him alone to do it.  I came home to, "I miss you mommy."  We took advantage of Museum Day and took him to the Studebaker Museum and the Center for History. 

To be fair, that word can give lots of people trouble.

We're going to try things while we can and find something that works.  He's got a head start on his peer group; I want to keep him ahead and, more importantly, interested in learning. 

Grant me serenity....

Just when you think things are going smoothly, something comes along to trip you up.  The process of moving and squaring things away is a lesson in changing what you can and accepting what you can't because just when you think things are settled, it turns out not to be.  This weekend I discovered my bank sent my rent, not to my landlord, but to nowhere.  They cut a paper check instead of paying his account and sent it to nowhere, literally.  There was no address.  They sent the check anyhow.  This is the problem with automated systems.  A person might have noticed there was no address and stopped the process to figure out what was going on.  The mechanical system, however, just shoots things out. 

I discovered this on Saturday morning after my landlord contacted me to let me know he hadn't received our money yet.  The bank put a stop-payment on the check they cut and said the money would be back in my account in 3 - 5 business days.  In the meantime, I am sending a personal check to cover this to my landlord so that, once the money is back in my account, he can go ahead and cash it.  The next step from there will be to figure out how to do this so it NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN. 

Also on Saturday, we discovered the tree in our backyard was trying to make an entrance into the neighbor's yard.  It's a lovely mulberry tree that just sort of leaned over the fence.  Big Guy would take care of it himself, but there's some sort of line there that the tree is also leaning on, so I think someone professional needs to take care of it to prevent death and/or loss of limb (HA) and property.  However, it's a holiday weekend, and, as with the bank, that means NO ONE is working until Tuesday without serious overtime. 

For most people, this is a relaxing time.  For me, it turned into a frenzy of 'crap I cannot control'. I don't like sharp changes in plans; I especially don't like sharp changes in plans of things I had already marked off my list.  My reaction to that loss of control and inability to change it RIGHT NOW was to take control elsewhere.  As such, Big Guy and I emptied the dining room of boxes and then refilled it with boxes from the family room.  We then sorted the place out and got the furniture arranged (mostly) to our satisfaction.  I need a wireless adapted for my computer before it can go on my desk but then we are settled in the family room.  We have a mishmash of hand-me-down furniture from friends, family and second-hand stores which, surprisingly, almost looks like we planned it and matches the woodwork here beautifully.  I have no idea how we managed both the coordinating furniture and the coordinating woodwork, but go us. 

In the end, this means Tuesday will be a busy day.  I'm OK with that as long as everything gets sorted out.  I want everything back to settled, so I can get down to the very serious business of settling in and sorting things out.  We need to get settled in so I can get Little Guy into a routine and start homeschooling the little booger.  He desperately needs a routine and regular schedule.  This past month has been sorely lacking in that department, and I am starting to feel like a horrible parent.  But again, I need to look at this as an opportunity to change what I can and accept what I can't. 

It's just difficult. 

Little Guy is Spirited not Strong-willed

I'm confining myself to the same strictures I put on my students and forcing myself to sit and write for 10 minutes straight.  Well, at least as straight as a parent who is home with a 4 year old can make it.  Right now, I'm up to about a minute of uninterrupted time.  I'm seriously impressed. 

Currently, Little Guy is ensconced in the hall with his cars.  I can't get him to finish his "brep-fast" of a banana on a hot dog bun smeared with peanut butter.  He asked for it and now he won't eat it.  Meals have become a battle ground.  Short of forcing him to sit, we're stuck with fighting him every step of the way to eat.  This has become the new "potty" argument. 

One of the things I have done recently is look up advice on "Strong willed" children.  I immediately decided I didn't approve of the group who had take "strong willed" as their banner phrase and instead decided to go with the parents of spirited children.  It may not seem to make sense, but I've discovered the advice on parenting "strong willed" children seems to advocate breaking their spirit and bending them to the parent's will.  Advice on parenting "spirited" children seems to advocate working with the spirited child and encouraging them to keep their sense of self while working within the bounds of society. 

I don't want to break his spirit or individuality.  He's going to need it as he gets older.  I want him to be able to make his own decisions and to be firm in his convictions.  I want him to not be afraid to stand up for the right thing, even if most people disagree with him.  I don't think that forcing him to follow a narrow path is the best way to do that.  Of course, I also have issues with society as a whole right now. I don't want him to follow the path that so many people seem to follow and be apathetic and content with the status quo. 

I think spirited children are our future and quite likely our only hope.  If we're so keen to make them fit into the cubby holes that society has deemed appropriate, we will never improve the situation in our country.  If Edison or Lincoln had done that which was expected of them, we would still be enslaving people by candlelight.  And, unfortunately, he has me for a mother.  I hate following the well-worn paths.  I'd much rather poke around and discover what I can find on my own.  I want him to feel comfortable doing that too. 

What this means for me, however, is a long period of time where I will be frustrated and irritated because my son has a mind of his own.  I just have to let him learn some things through trial and error.  Right now, we're not going to go outside because he hasn't finished breakfast.  Once he finishes breakfast, I will go out with him and turn on the sprinkler and let him play to his heart's content.  But he's being his spirited self and I suspect that won't happen before I have to get ready for work. 

Spiritual Sunday - The World Works as it wills

 Last Week

It took many years and many trials and tribulations before I learned to accept that everything truly does happen for a reason.  There have been many times that I have dealt with what I was certain were horrible situations only to discover that there had been a plan after all. The world works as the world wills and everything will work out for the best from the end of relationships to the loss of some dreams.

People can look sideways at this and shake their heads, but the fact remains.  You need to have faith and let go.  Have faith that the situation you find untenable, the loss of a job or the end of a relationship, is for the best.  Wipe down your face and stop fighting the inevitable.  Crying won't fix the job; yelling won't fix the relationship. Accept that in those situations, you are powerless.  And accept that there is a plan, you just can't see it yet. 

When the door closes, the window opens.  If the relationship ends, it wasn't meant to be.  There will be other relationships, and one of them WILL last.  If the job is lost, it simply means that a better job, a better fit and one that will make you happier, is out there.  And everyone, good or bad, has given you something to make you a better person, but it's up to you to find out what it is.  But that first step is acceptance.  Accept that it's OK that things did not work out the way you wanted, and really mean it. 

Most of us spend a good portion of our lives railing against the inevitable instead of accepting the plan we cannot see.  We can't accept it for a number of reasons: it doesn't fit with our plan, we were content with the situation as it stood, or even we are too set with that path that change is nearly impossible.  But, by relinquishing control to the flow of the planet, we will find our path. 

That is not to say that the right things don't require work.  I recognize that had any of my relationships followed a different path, I would likely not have ended up with Big Guy.  However, all relationships require work, even good ones.  Big Guy and I make it a point to maintain our marriage daily.  We talk to each other, help each other, and reinforce our feelings for each other every day.  A job that you enjoy needs the same care and work as a good relationship.  I spend a great deal of time thinking about what lessons need to be tweaked and what I can do to improve my class, another opportunity I would have missed had I railed against the unexpected course my life took.

Next Week