An Open Letter to Bad Students

Yes. I teach a super-basic English course. I teach you how to correctly put words into sentences, how to put sentences into paragraphs and how to put paragraphs into an essay. I've been doing this for a long time. Longer than you've been here, and I will probably still be doing it long after you've gone, whenever and however that may be. I work hard to make a very dry and usually boring subject somewhat interesting. I know you think this is a stupid, easy, fluff course, but you would not be in this class if you didn't need it. You took a test for placement and failed badly enough that you are mine. 

And so here we are. You on your side of the desk and me on mine. And guess what? No matter what, I win. For the time you are in my class, I am the most important person in your world. Or at least you should act that way. Why? Because teachers aren't stupid. When we're in the lab and you're tap-tapping away on your keyboard or clicking away at your mouse, I KNOW you aren't paying attention to me. And believe me, I know who you are and I will call you out on it. If you're sitting there, slack-jawed with your book closed next to you as I am lecturing about a chapter, I know it's not English you're thinking about. And it adds up. 

You start as a blank slate in my class. By the end of the first day of class, I have identified the students who are going to be most difficult. You know who you are. You are the student who thinks you're so damn wonderful that you can be all cute with the teacher and she'll fall all over herself to give you an A because you're just that amazing. If you think that, think again. Because, in conjunction with me being the most important person in your world while you are in my room, I also have little to no patience for your "cuteness". Your cuteness is not awesome, it is not amazing, and your winning personality will not get you an A. I don't care if you know this; I don't care if you don't want to do the assignment. If you want your grade, you have to earn it. You do not pay my salary. I earn it. You pay for the amazing opportunity to be in my class.

You are also the student who keeps a notebook of excuses. I'll let you in on a secret... I don't care if your dog's uncle's cat's brother ate your homework. I don't care if your car caught fire and burned all your books inside it. If you didn't call me, email me, or leave me a message, it's an excuse. And, if you do this at least once per class session, I probably don't believe you anymore. If you cared about my course, you'd find a way to make those excuses nonexistent. 

My patience is wearing thin. I've explained something just to have to re-explain it five minutes later because a student was doodling flowers in her notebook and is now lost, and I've done that 5 times in half an hour. When a "cute" student ignores me for the better part of a class only to interrupt me five times as I'm trying to explain the assignment, it makes me want to stab my eyes out with a pen. When I'm trying to explain a concept and a student full of excuses is interrupting me to answer a question on the lab assignment that they are doing instead of listening to me, it makes me want to unplug the computer and throw it through the window. Even worse, it causes a deep wellspring of pity for the students who do care and are trying to learn. Because while I am stuck with them for a month or two (or three), these guys will work with them in all their other courses.

I'm sorry, smart, conscientious students. I am sorry that there seems to be such a vast chasm between you and your peers. Do not fall into their trap. Do not think that because they passed, you do not need to work as hard as you do. Because, at the end of the day (or college career) you can come to me for a letter of recommendation and I will give it. I will not be "too busy" for you. If you need help understanding something in another course, I will be more than happy to sit down with you or act as a go between for you and your instructor. You have fostered that trust and you have earned your place. And it is nothing to be ashamed of, so do not fall into their trap.

The bad students are a swampy morass of helplessness and entitlement. They don't know anything, don't want to really improve their lot if it means work, and don't think they should have to do anything anyhow. They pay their money, they should get a degree. That's not how life works. And, by God, that will not be how my class works. So go ahead. Yell at me. Roll your eyes at me. Grumble beneath your breath about these "stupid assignments" and complain just in earshot about how worthless you think they are. I don't care, and in fact, it makes me giggle a bit on the inside because you'll be doing them again when you fail. Tell me how your cat ate your car and that's why you missed 3 classes in a row. It makes no difference to me. You'll take the course again and I will still get paid. I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart. Get used to it.



Love

An English Teacher on the Edge

Little Guy is Spirited not Strong-willed

I'm confining myself to the same strictures I put on my students and forcing myself to sit and write for 10 minutes straight.  Well, at least as straight as a parent who is home with a 4 year old can make it.  Right now, I'm up to about a minute of uninterrupted time.  I'm seriously impressed. 

Currently, Little Guy is ensconced in the hall with his cars.  I can't get him to finish his "brep-fast" of a banana on a hot dog bun smeared with peanut butter.  He asked for it and now he won't eat it.  Meals have become a battle ground.  Short of forcing him to sit, we're stuck with fighting him every step of the way to eat.  This has become the new "potty" argument. 

One of the things I have done recently is look up advice on "Strong willed" children.  I immediately decided I didn't approve of the group who had take "strong willed" as their banner phrase and instead decided to go with the parents of spirited children.  It may not seem to make sense, but I've discovered the advice on parenting "strong willed" children seems to advocate breaking their spirit and bending them to the parent's will.  Advice on parenting "spirited" children seems to advocate working with the spirited child and encouraging them to keep their sense of self while working within the bounds of society. 

I don't want to break his spirit or individuality.  He's going to need it as he gets older.  I want him to be able to make his own decisions and to be firm in his convictions.  I want him to not be afraid to stand up for the right thing, even if most people disagree with him.  I don't think that forcing him to follow a narrow path is the best way to do that.  Of course, I also have issues with society as a whole right now. I don't want him to follow the path that so many people seem to follow and be apathetic and content with the status quo. 

I think spirited children are our future and quite likely our only hope.  If we're so keen to make them fit into the cubby holes that society has deemed appropriate, we will never improve the situation in our country.  If Edison or Lincoln had done that which was expected of them, we would still be enslaving people by candlelight.  And, unfortunately, he has me for a mother.  I hate following the well-worn paths.  I'd much rather poke around and discover what I can find on my own.  I want him to feel comfortable doing that too. 

What this means for me, however, is a long period of time where I will be frustrated and irritated because my son has a mind of his own.  I just have to let him learn some things through trial and error.  Right now, we're not going to go outside because he hasn't finished breakfast.  Once he finishes breakfast, I will go out with him and turn on the sprinkler and let him play to his heart's content.  But he's being his spirited self and I suspect that won't happen before I have to get ready for work. 

Another Month, another class

Class started last night and I am teaching Comp. II this month.  I actually miss my Fundamentals class because they, at least, recognize they have a problem and need to be there.  I have been faced with students in the upper level comp. classes who don't understand why they need to know how to write.  There are times that attitude is very daunting for a professor.  No one has yet said something like that to me this month, but the month only has just begun. 

The biggest problem I had last night came in the last half hour of class when a number of students just got up and left.  They decided the class was done, and therefore they left.  This was while I was still lecturing.  In response, I gave the remainder of class a homework assignment that the others will not be able to make up.  I would like to know what prompts people to do that.  Our classes are scheduled until 9:50 at night.  If we get out early, so much the better, but  if we don't then we don't 

Honestly, though, that lack of caring and respect towards education is exactly why I am glad I teach at a college.  In high school, you are required to care whether or not the students care.  In college, I am there to teach the students who are there. If you show up and participate n my class, you'll get much more out of it.  If you choose to show up and not participate or not show up at all...  Well, that's your problem not mine.  I give the students plenty of opportunities to pass and give them more help than I probably should, certainly more help than Big Guy feels I should give them.  I do want them to pass though.  I want them to succeed. 

But, in the end, their choice whether to put forth the effort or not remains their choice.  If they choose not to, I cannot help them.  And that is the worst part of teaching.  I can't make them stay, I can't make them participate, I can't make them do what they need to.  All I can do is present the information and interact with those who are interested.   

Despite that, for some reason I do love to teach. I love getting in front of people and discussing the finer points of books or grammar. I like teaching a subject I am truly passionate about, and honestly, how can you NOT love the English language or grammar.  It's intricate and twisty because we stole so much from so many other languages. 

Part of that has to do with the British Empire's desire to control the entirety of the globe.  But it also has to do with everyone wanting to take of the islands of Ireland and England.  The Vikings and the French most notably donated quite a bit to the formation of the English language, but then the English went everywhere else on the crusades and, as a result, assimilated so much.

When you start explaining that to the students, they start to perk up and pay attention.  It gets better when you explain how all literature is tied in to sex and they start really listening.  All of a sudden, English becomes an interesting subject.  And my goal in teaching is that the majority of my students end up leaving my class more interested in the subject than when they started.  I think I'm doing OK. 

Looking at getting out

Big Guy and I are looking at houses to move into. Between the school issues and other things, we're just not comfortable here anymore and need to get out. The hope is to find a house that someone is willing to sell on a land contract. We talked last night and decided that this is our last year on the lease here.

Our idea is to make a list of what we want in our ideal house and then decide what we are willing to compromise on for a rental. Somewhere in all of this, we'll sort out what needs sorting out and figure out what will make us happy. We went and looked at a rental last night which really cemented our need to get out of here. However, Big Guy doesn't think that we should apply for this particular house and I can see why he feels this way. I've told him that I recognize my impulsivity and I am willing to defer to a less emotion-filled decision maker. But, I also told him I felt we SHOULD apply for the house. I am not going to push that issue though.

With the end of the month approaching, I am grading and preparing for the end of this class. Next month, I am scheduled for Comp II. I'm relieved that this year seems to be going so well, but we do have a few financial details to take care of. Once we do that, my hope is to go back to school for a Master's degree and increase my marketability. I love teaching English at a college level but I need more money and more reliability in this.

Tonight, however, is finals night for my class. I'll be grading and submitting grades tonight, and then I'll hopefully be going home. With class next month, we are going to start figuring out how to improve our situation.  Then we're going to do it. 

An English Teacher's Lament

I began re-working on one of my projects last night while Big Guy played his Valentine's day gift.  It was a good gift, apparently.  I told him I was glad that my gift giving streak was still in effect.  He's been playing the game pretty much non-stop since Friday.  In the meantime, I was able to work on my blog, work on class prep, and prepare for the week ahead.  My class this month is about to have a change from classes in previous months, namely a vocab section. 

I work hard on class prep and doing what I think will best help the students.  I must admit, though, finding things that will improve their ability to write is difficult since the most vocal complain that they don't understand why they must know how to write nor do they wish to learn.  For someone like me, who adores English and the twists and turns it takes, it is horribly depressing and demoralizing. 

It is unfortunate that I have not yet had a student come to my class and say: "I can't wait!  I love English/Writing/Literature."  It is also not surprising.  Schools don't stress the importance of the ability to write properly and do not encourage students to do so.  When the kids were visiting, I was perpetually amazed and dismayed at how little the schools stressed proper style and grammar.  It was more that the teachers were relieved if the students spelled approximately half of the words correctly.  One of the most horrifying things I discovered about the school in our area, and a driving force behind my desire NOT to send Little Guy into this system, was the painful discovery that the high school students were allowed to write papers in text speech.  Of course, then they end up in my classroom, in a college level basics class.

And I am left with disenchanted students who are in school because they have no place left to go and want to get college over with quickly so they can get a better job.  I do what I can to make the subject matter interesting for them, but a great deal of the work has to be done by them.  One thing I am going to start mentioning on the first day of class is that their success depends almost entirely on them.  If they choose to come and not work, not be engaged with the material, not communicate with the class, then they will not pass.  If they come to class, ready to talk, work, ask questions, and learn, they will likely pass not only this class, but also the other English classes with flying colors.  Once they gain a comprehension of English, it will make their major classes easier as well as give them access to better jobs. 

Of course, then the question becomes, how do you engage and encourage students who hate the subject matter? In this particular class, I put together powerpoint presentations to make the discussion slightly less snooze-worthy.  I also have them watch Schoolhouse Rock.  The catchy music and the songs that get stuck in their heads seems to actually make a difference.  I was unable to use both those tricks last month and I noticed a big difference in the attitude of the students towards the subject.  Amusingly, after talking with a couple of other teachers about the Schoolhouse Rock trick, it's become a "done thing" now.  I'm glad that others are seeing it works too, I just wish I could get some recognition for the idea.  LOL

In the end, though, I love my subject matter and I am passionate about it.  I think that has affected more students then their dislike of the subject.  I still have students coming up to me months later asking if I will be teaching a particular level of class next month.  They seem to have left my class with an enjoyment and, hopefully, an appreciation of their language.

Embracing the nerd within.

I've been burning through A Game of Thrones and actually finished it last night, curled up in bed with Big Guy.  I imagine by the time the weekend comes, I'll have finished the second book.  I just need to prepare myself not to complain or else Big Guy will mock me. 

As it is, he's very insistent that I am a nerd like him.  He uses my reading against me.  Of course he also uses the fact that he dragged me into the gaming world against me.  He tried to use my video gaming against me, but I was able to point out that gaming is actually a pretty cool thing to do.  He then had to point out that most of the video games I enjoyed were pretty nerdy. 

He said even my movies were nerdy.  This is not true.  He tried to say that since many of the movies I greatly enjoy are based on books, it made me a nerd.  I disagree.  I think it means I know what I like going in.  Yes, I have watched more than one movie based on Shakespeare.  And I have done so of my own volition. Yes, I enjoy movies based on Jane Austin novels.  That is not nerdy.   He then tried to use my love for the English language against me. 

He said the simple fact that I teach courses in Lit and writing makes me a nerd.  He said no one but a nerd would harbor the deep emotions I hold for literature and grammar.  When I protested that English was cool, he said my arguments to the contrary (and my correction of his word choice) only served to enhance my nerdiness.  I'm sorry, but you can't use odorous when you mean onerous. 

I disagree most strongly with his views.  English and the study of grammar and literature is not nerdy but "muy awesome".  We even watch the TV show Castle where the main character (played by the sexy and also awesome Nathan Fillion) tends to make me squeal like the grammar fan girl I am.  If discussion on proper word usage and how to properly define "irony" are so nerdy, then why are they discussed by such an awesome character?  And if loving English is wrong, then I don't wanna be right. 

Of course, in a world where the average American reads at a sixth-grade level, maybe being an English nerd is not such a bad thing.  In the long run, it doesn't matter how nerdy others think I am, I know I'm cool and I know what I enjoy.  And, besides, I will never be as nerdy as Big Guy.

OK, maybe I'm wrong.